Too many individual Dawgs to give points to in this issue — let’s just give the whole school 34 points, for generally being drunken, truant batterers. But hey, why spoil that top ranking? The starters on the football team should all have their cases disposed of before the season starts.
Supplemental draft, here I come
Make room for JaJuan Spillman, a University of Louisville wideout who wins this week’s dumbass award for having a joint in his mouth when police pulled him over early this past Friday morning.
Louisville cops say that Spillman refused to stop for several blocks, and that, when he did, he was smoking a blunt. Yanked out of the car, he slurred his words and had trouble standing up — but managed to impress upon police over and over that he played wide receiver for Louisville. Shades of Ty Law and Agent Zero — I love it. Police tacked on a concealed-firearm charge, and coach Steve Kragthorpe announced Spillman’s release from the team on Sunday night.
Give this kid 25 points for the DUI, plus 10 for the repeat violation (he pleaded guilty to possession after a car accident in February 2007), and five more for being so high that he forgot to pull the joint out of his mouth. That makes 40 points total — go Cards!
Related:
Hello, old friend, Cursed Aztecs, Astro naught, More
- Hello, old friend
There was a recent arrest of a onetime member of the Patriots defensive backfield — old friend Lawyer Milloy.
- Cursed Aztecs
San Diego State Aztecs basketball coach Steve Fisher lectures his players during the season about how to behave off the court, getting pretty specific about what he doesn’t want to see.
- Astro naught
Always a darned shame when we hear that the Clemens family has fallen on hard times.
- Bad times for kickers
Here’s a depressing-ass story that tells you everything you need to know about the life of a retired mediocre athlete.
- Magnum farce
Sports blotter: "CSI: Binghamton" edition
- Bang for T-Buck
Brett Favre walks into a bar.
- Tiger trap
There are a lot of famously troubled college sports programs out there, the majority of them football teams.
- BBs and b-balls
A few years ago, it looked like college athletes shooting strangers with BB guns was going to be the boutique sports offense of the 21st century.
- More bad news for the Mets
Look, it just isn’t seemly for us non–New Yorkers to laugh too much about the continued suckdom of the New York Mets, specifically their bullpen.
- Return of the U
Remember the days when the University of Miami dominated college football?
- Zero hour
Everyone knows there is a double-standard in the NFL when it comes to arrests.
- Less
Topics:
Sports
, Baseball, Sports, Major League Baseball, More
, Baseball, Sports, Major League Baseball, Professional Baseball, National Football Conference, National Football League, NFC East Division, AFC East Division, American Football Conference, Football, Less