Needs a shrink?

I thought I was getting a little weird when I confessed that I found Ingrid Bergman kind of sexy as a nun in "The Bells of St. Mary's" swinging a baseball bat. But that pales before the complex fetishism underlying this inquiry in Craig's List pointed out to me by YH:

"I am looking for a role-playing partner to do email or instant message-based sessions revolving around various situations similar to those in the Disney classic ‘Honey I Shrunk The Kids.' Various aspects of the original movie have always fascinated me. The perspective from one being so tiny as well as the various interactions with normal everyday objects/situations. Our roles would be myself as the shrunken individual, and you as the normal sized one.

 "Out of all of the scenes in the movie that I have always wanted to reenact through role-play is that of the Cheerios scene. Of course, hopefully we can swap out Rick Moranis for yourself, but if you'd prefer to play an actress instead (for privacy reasons) then we can certainly do that as well. 

"The requirements for this job: you are a female, you are verbose, descriptive almost to the point of it being ridiculous, very imaginative, and hopefully that you like Cheerios. The ability to take something as simple as moving your hand and creating a moment and event out of it would be preferred as far as detail depth. 

• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Compensation: $50 for the session

PostingID: 1728809338"

Not that it's a contest, but that beats anything I can come up with along the lines of a freaky movie fantasy.

But, what the hell. Why shouldn't it be a contest? Send in your creepiest, most inappropriate movie sex fantasies. The winner gets a bowl of Cheerios on me.