Boston Common Tea Party Superlatives and Milestones (featuring video interviews with real-life Tea Partiers)

PHOTOS: Sarah Palin's Tea Party rally on the Boston Common.

Soon after Sarah Palin's posse rolled into Boston Common this morning, one of the movement leaders announced that they refused to be represented this time like they were in Searchlight, Nevada - hometown of Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, and the first stop on this year's Tea Party Express tour. That event, it is now claimed, drew 45,000 people. 

Well I'm pleased to announce that there were several hundred thousand people at the Boston rally - maybe even a million (wink). No doubt the Tea Partiers will confirm that. But while everybody else was worried about numbers - and how the media would deny that it was the biggest such event to ever crash Boston Common - I noticed a few other firsts, superlatives, and milestones this morning:

Most people ever assembled who do not appreciate being tread on.

Highest frequency of jogging liberals stopping to snap cell phone pics of witless fools.

Biggest gathering in Bay State history of moustache-sporting gentlemen with neither ironic nor homosexual motives.

Most times I've ever heard someone say, "Yeah - thanks - I got it at Patriot Depot."

Largest number of reporters who are afraid to put their notepads away and be thought to be participating in this rally.

Most anti-socialist Baby Boomers in one place who desperately need government programs to keep them busy.

Best series of cliche Boston Italian guys doing impersonations of Dom Irerra doing an impersonation of Andrew Dice Clay doing an impersonation of Rodney Dangerfield if his joke writers weren't funny.

Most documentaries ever shot simultaneously with the exception of at the Gathering of the Juggalos.